You were not created to fit a role. you were called to walk in freedom.

Download the free Freedom Pack created just for pastors' wives who are ready to break free from the expectations that are holding them back.

Includes a sample chapter from Burn the Boxes and bonus resources to help you take your next step toward freedom.

Ready to Burn the Boxes?

Pre-order the book here.

Coming November 4. 2025

Pre-order Burn the Boxes to receive the physical book, the full ebook, and instant access to the Freedom Pack.

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Burn the Boxes is for pastors' wives who love the Lord and love their calling, but feel tired from trying to meet everyone else's expectations.

This book is not about quitting ministry or burning down your life. It is about identifying the silent, unspoken roles you have been trying to live up to and replacing them with the identity God has already given you.

Through honest stories, biblical truth, and gentle reflection, Whitney invites you to take a deep breath and ask,

"What if God never asked me to carry this?"

This Book is For You If:

You feel the pressure to always smile, show up, and serve
You are not sure who you are outside of the pastor’s wife role
You are tired of wondering if it is okay to need something for yourself
You want to live with peace, joy, and purpose in your calling

What You Will Discover:

How to recognize the expectations that are weighing you down
Why “fitting the role” often leads to hiding, not healing
The freedom that comes from walking with Christ, not performing for others
Encouragement for your heart, your marriage, and your ministry

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Get the full book, the complete ebook, and instant access to the Freedom Pack bundle.

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About the Author

Hi, I’m Whitney. I’m a pastor’s wife, a certified mental health coach, and the founder of Vibrant, a space created just for women in ministry who feel stretched thin and overlooked.

After more than 25 years in church life, I’ve seen how easily pastors’ wives lose themselves in expectations they were never meant to carry. That’s why I wrote Burn the Boxes! I want to help you rediscover who you are in Christ and start walking in freedom again.

I’d love to walk with you as you do. You’re not alone, and you don’t have to keep pretending.

More of my writings

When Pastors’ Wives Feel Spiritually Dry: What Living Water Really Means

Even with the Holy Spirit, spiritual dryness is real. This post offers biblical clarity, grace, and practical hope for pastors’ wives walking through weary seasons. ...more

Vibrant

June 03, 2025•6 min read

What Most People Don’t Know About Being a Pastor’s Wife

She’s not just the woman beside the pastor. She’s fighting battles you’ll never see, many of them for you. A must-read for anyone in church life or ministry. ...more

Vibrant

May 27, 2025•4 min read

Not for Sale: What Every Pastor’s Wife Needs to Know About God’s Timing

When life feels delayed or denied, this reminder for ministry wives brings hope: God’s gifts aren’t earned. They’re prepared in advance for you, and for His perfect timing. ...more

Vibrant

May 20, 2025•4 min read

What others are saying about Burn the Boxes

"It reminded me of the importance of my identity in Christ."

Ministry can feel isolating, but Burning the Boxes reminded me that God sees me, knows me, and has called me uniquely. As pastor’s wives, there is no “cookie cutter role” that we must all become or fit into. But we must go through the discovery process of learning who we are in Christ, how God has uniquely wired us & gifted us, and what HE (not other people) is calling us to do for Him in ministry and in support of our husbands. Burning the Boxes emphasized & reminded me of the importance of my identity in Christ-not in the roles other people assign to me.

- Leah Mainard, Pastor’s Wife (and daughter of a pastor)

"A must-read for every pastor’s wife."

"Burn the Boxes" is a must-read for every pastor’s wife navigating the often undefined and ever-changing role of ministry. Whitney’s words are filled with wisdom, honesty, and biblical truth, drawing from her own experiences of the soaring highs and challenging lows that come with this calling. She speaks directly to the heart, reminding ministry wives that they don’t need to conform to a mold or fit into a specific box—God has already called them to walk in the freedom of Christ. This book is a breath of fresh air, a call to break free, and an empowering reminder that our identity is found in him. Every ministry wife needs this book in her hands!

- Cassie Ball, Pastor’s Wife

"A journey into

the heart of what it means to be a pastor's wife."

"Burn the Boxes" is a transformative journey into
the heart of what it means to be a pastor's wife, challenging the stereotypes and expectations that often confine and define them. With raw honesty and profound insight, the author invites readers to break free from societal constraints and embrace the unique calling God has placed on their lives. This book is a beacon of hope and empowerment, encouraging women to live authentically and courageously in the freedom that Christ offers. A must-read for anyone seeking to understand the true essence of ministry and the power of living unboxed.

- David L. Hancock, Wall Street Journal Bestselling author of Performance Driven Giving

"I am praying this gets in the hands of every pastor's wife."

"In this long-overdue work, Whitney Shafer gives voice to the women who quietly shoulder one of the most emotionally complex and sacrificial roles in ministry—the pastor’s wife. With unflinching honesty and grace, she illuminates the hidden weight they carry: the pain of unspoken expectations, the pressure to be everything to everyone, and the isolation of navigating a role with no clear definition, yet constant scrutiny. This book is both a mirror and a balm for those who live in that tension—and a revelation for those who have never seen it."

- Tecia Janes, Founder of Choosing Him Ministries

"Honest, kind, gut-wrenching, raw, and redemptive."

"Honest, kind, gut-wrenching, raw, and redemptive. Whitney’s words feel near like a trusted friend who truly understands. She has a gift for putting into words what so many pastors' wives feel but rarely say aloud. I pray her words meet you right where you are and that the Lord uses them in a profound and personal way."

- Hannah Dunaway, Pastor’s Wife

"This book is for the ones who feel invisible."

Whitney’s words are a beautiful invitation for healing, a breaking of the tie we so often make with performance. She writes with wisdom, grace, and authenticity, gently guiding us to recognize and dismantle the unhealthy patterns that keep us trapped. These cycles of burnout, insecurity, and striving are familiar to many of us, and Whitney brings them into the light with compassion and truth. Rooted in Scripture and rich with insight, this book helps us move toward a healthier way of life in ministry. One where we are spiritually anchored, emotionally whole, and more deeply connected to the heart of God.

- Danielle Wheeler, Licensed Professional Counselor, Pastor's Daughter

Looking for a podcast guest?

I love connecting with women in ministry and sharing the heart behind Burn the Boxes. If you host a podcast for Christian women, ministry leaders, or anyone navigating identity, expectations, or emotional health, I’d be honored to join you for a conversation.

Some of my favorite topics to talk about include: